Today is the most unlucky/unfortunate/unglam (in this running order) day of my life (possibly)
Allow me to explain.
Apart from the non-stop rain today, I had difficulty walking with the fking heels. Every step I take my heels sink into the wet mud, so it gets kinda gross when I walk on grass. For those who wear heels should know what I’m talking about. For those who don’t, you lucky bastards.
Anywayy..as the entire department left for home early, and I didn’t want to be a spoilsport, I joined them as well to go home. It was 5.45pm. So when bus 24 arrived, I happily took it to Tanah Merah MRT bus stop to board 45, which takes super fast to get home (approx 10 minutes). So I sat on the bus stop and waited for about 20 mins before the effing bus arrives. Here comes the first unlucky moment. This stupid kid whose wearing heels (why the hell would kids wear heels. don’t they know it causes ergonomical problems to their ankles? ugh anyway..) who was in front of me stepped on my foot!
Worse thing is, she looked back and stared at me, like it’s my fault. HELLO! You stooopid brat. You’re in the wrong and you can’t even open your mouth to apologise. What you dumb or what. Kay nevermind! I’m nice! Don’t fight with stupid kids. I found a seat and sat down. Then this construction worker came and sat beside me. I was thinking “oh shit oh shit sure stink” then I prepared myself with the air con blowing in my face in case the smell became unbearable.
Who knew! (karma lah I think) The air con was so comfortable that I dozed off and fell asleep. When I woke up, I realized I overslept! And guess where was I?
*cue for drumroll*
I WAS AT FKING HELL SERANGOON CAN. Bedok and Serangoon. See the difference? omg lah. I wanted to smack myself. I wanted to alight and walk over to take a bus back, but it was pouring like shit outside the bus. so I got a little lazy and fell asleep awhile more : x. I thought bus 45 goes to Ang Mo Kio or something, so I continued, thinking of switching to bus 22 in awhile or something. Okay maybe awhile is an understatement. I sat on the bus for another hefty 45 minutes before it reached Yio Chu Kang. It didn’t stop at AMK interchange at all! Then my alarm in my head went off “Wah shit, getting further and further away liao. Should I alight. Should I remain. Should I alight. Should I remain.”
Just nice the bus arrived at the bus stop after Yio Chu Kang MRT station, and the driver said “Miss last stop”
SHIT. MAN. I alighted at this ulu factories everywhere inhibited bus stop with no one else at the bus stop except an indian that kept staring at me. I wanted to say “kua simi kua lah” but decided not to in case you guys will never see me type in this blog again. I looked at the bus guide sign (Thank SBS for this. They have done nothing right except for that) and there was bus 70M! I quickly boarded it and it was FREEZING I tell you! The rainy weather didn’t make things any better and I almost thought Ice Age was approaching Singapore. So okay fine! I thought to myself, I’ll alight at Paya Lebar and change to bus 8 or 22, then stop outside my house, and I get home safe and sound. WHO KNOWS! I sat on the bus for another 10 minutes later enjoying the water-flowing pattern on the windows when its pouring (call me weird, but there’s practically nothing else you can do, and in these kind of situations, this is the best thing you possibly can do) then my MP3 DIED ON ME.
WAH SIAN! I have to endure the remaining journey in silence. OMG! There’s no one else on the bus (except this lovely dovey 10 years never see each other couple keep hugging and kissing until no tomorow wait maybe really no tomorrow cause Singapore never experience an Ice Age on an SBS bus before but..okay I shall stop) and it got a little creepy. Oh man just now I wanted to pee in my pants. Now I wanted to SHIT IN MY PANTS. (coincidentally I was wearing pants, but no I didn’t shit in it.) WTHOMGHAXSLASHBAN.
Joy to the world! 70M soon reached Paya Lebar. i alighted at the bus stop outside some factories (again. Wassup with all the factories sprouting out today) I checked Iris and the next bus for 8 is TWENTY TWO MINUTES and the next bus for 22 is TWENTY SIX MINUTES. (WTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTHWTH) Walao not my day!
K fine I took a seat and was getting hungry. So I opened my green Snoopy bag I was carrying and wanted to munch on a cookie from Subway (my lunch leftovers) when this bus 58 came out from nowhere! HAVEN’ EVEN GRAB A BITE CAN. WALAO I swear the bus is a ghost bus lor! Don’t know come out from where one. No signal no warning! I flagged my hand franctically, then the bus stopped about 10 metres ahead of the bus stop. When I boarded the bus (how many times did I type this phrase when I boarded the bus sia, this shows how many times I changed bus. Thank God for the concession pass.) I thanked the driver for stopping, but he BIN CHAO CHAO LOR. Still give me the wtf face. wth. K nevermind! I sat on the nearest seat I could find, and soon the bus reached Kaki Bukit in less than 5 minutes (I swear its driving at 120kmh, trying to get into an accident sia this uncle), and I quickly pressed the bell.
(HERE COMES THE UTTERLY UNGLAM MOMENT OF THE CENTURY.) Just when I was standing up and leaving my seat I suddenly stumbled and FELL DOWN! Not the kind stumble then stand up act okay one leh. Is the MY 2 JELLY LEGS WOBBLING AND NO STRENGTH AND I LAND FLAT ON MY BUTT KIND. OMG LAH. SOMEMORE I SITTING AT THE FRONT OF THE BUS, AND I FELL DOWN IN THE AISLE. FULL VIEW OF MY UNGLAM MOMENT. The bus was quite packed and EVERYONE STARED AT ME CAN. I swear I could hear someone laughing in the background. OMG LAHHH. DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM PAISEH! I faster alight and faster walk back home.
OMG LAH. Dam dam dam paiseh can! I swore everyone looked at me. Somemore when I fell I landed with a thud. Thank goodness the floor of the bus didn’t crack or break at my weight. OMG lah. Dam unglam. OMG.
Okay I faster bathe before anything happens. It was 8.55 when I reached home. It took me 3 hours to get home from Changi Business Park to Blk 643 Bedok Reservoir Road. wth.














